Letters to Fred
by redheadsarehot
Summary: Trying to deal with his brother's death, George writes letters to Fred as 'therapy'. Hilarity ensues. Mostly Ron and Hermione from George's point of view, but other characters appear too. Rated M for language and mentions of sex.
1. Chapter 1

30/06/98

Fred,

I think if I call you Fred this will be easier to do. I'll just act like I'm writing to you, even though I know you wont get it. You're worm food by now.

The nutter healer that mum insisted I go to said that I need to start writing down my feelings in a journal...which sounds like a pretty nancy thing to do if you ask me. Can you imagine _me_ writing about _feeeeelings_? HA! I almost feel bad for the guy, thinking he's going to help me. There's nothing wrong with me, well nothing new, haha!

So let me tell you how things have been since you decided to go on vacation for the rest of eternity.

Well we got the shop up and running again. Most of the family came to help put it back together not too long after you left. It looked like hell! I woulda rather done it all myself instead of putting up with the likes of Ron, Percy, Ginny, and Granger. I know they meant well but the constant looks of 'concern' they were giving me and asking me if I was all right was getting on my goddamn nerves. I'm not a fucking baby I think I can manage. Good thing mum stayed home, I don't think I could deal with her constant crying. I just want everyone to forget about it and just, you know, move on.

You should have seen ol Ronnie's face when your will was read. He looked even dumber than usual. Actually everyone was pretty surprised that you left your half of the company to him. Lucky for him though, because if I would have died instead of you, Harry would have gotten my half. Imagine if we both kicked it, this place would be run by those two. It would be closed in 2 weeks. HA! Gits.

So we've been open almost a month now. It's been...interesting is the only word I can think of to describe it. Ron's not as much of a fucking idiot as I thought he was. Don't get me wrong, he's still a clueless moron, but just a somewhat clever clueless moron. He's actually pretty good with the books and numbers and paper work of it all. Its pretty scary. But actually I think he might be bringing it home and making Granger do it for him. Maybe that's what they are doing in the bedroom when I hear the headboard slamming against the wall over and over. I guess when he finally gets the numbers to add up, she feels the need to scream "YES!" over and over. Yup, that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.

He moved into the flat with me after all the repairs were done. He was probably tired of the crowd in the house, too. Charlie and Bill (and his very hot wife) were still hovering about. Add on top of that Granger and Potter living there too, it was just way too many people there. Plus I know what Potter is trying to do to our sister and I refuse to be under the same roof when that happens. Git.

So needless to say Ron and me butt heads a lot because he's a clueless arse and I'm super fucking awesome. We do get along most of the time, he just can't take a joke. The other day I said something about Granger's tits and he actually decked me. I was just kidding, I don't even look at her tits. I was just trying to get a rise out of him. I guess I did, though I wasn't expecting a punch to the face! Oversensitive, that one.

Granger practically lives here too (for free, the bum!). God only knows what she sees in ickle Ronnie. Maybe he has a huge cock or something. Who the hell knows. But its okay having her around. She fusses at us both because we are slobs and leave messes all around. Well why would we clean up when we know she will do it, and do a way better job of it too? She's not much of a cook so we order takeout most nights. Sometimes Ron cooks and its actually decent. I think that pisses her off. How dare someone be better at something than her! Haha neurotic woman. I once mentioned that we should get a house elf to keep the place tidy and cook for us and I thought she was going to actually hex me. Oversensitive, that one. Hey look they have _one_ thing in common!

She also fusses at us when we drink too much, and sometimes locks herself in Ron's room...I guess to 'protest' our good times. I bet if she gave in and just had a drink or two it would kill that bug that crawled up her arse and she'd loosen up. Don't get me wrong, she's okay. Its just so much fun to rag on em both and get em worked up. It's almost too easy. After being here for a month they have toughened up a bit, so I gotta kick up my game a notch.

Anyway, this is already a lot longer than I intended. I probably won't write again because this is pretty stupid. We'll see. Later.

02/07/98

Fred,

I know I said I probably wouldn't write again but this was too great not to put on paper. This morning I cooked breakfast for the three of us. Why, you ask? Well I know its an old joke, but it is always a guaranteed laugh. I hid a fake spider under Ron's eggs. I almost felt bad about it until he found it. He threw the plate, screamed like a girl and ran into his room, all in front of his precious girlfriend. She was pretty hacked off and threw her plate at my head though, covering my face with eggs. Then she went to his room to comfort the poor widdle baby. Well I guess this kind of back fired on me because not 15 minutes later I heard them fucking again, this time intentionally not using a silencing spell. Ugh I felt my eggs start to come back up and I had to leave my own place. So the joke was really on me wasn't it? Fuck!

05/07/98

Freddie,

Why do I keep writing in this? I could use it to document new products and experiments I suppose. Ron actually came up with this candy that will seal your mouth shut for one hour. That would have come in handy when we had to deal with old toad face eh? HAHA! You think Ron would mind if I used it on Granger? Sometimes she just won't shut up. I think he might enjoy the silence too. We'll see. We have a few more ideas for things to put into the skiving snack boxes, and a couple more for the Wonder Witch product line. We're also debating whether or not to put a more 'adult' section in the back, if you know what I mean. Ickle Ronnikins is quite a little pervert, I'm tellin ya!

06/07/98

Fred,

Ive has quite a few drinks tonight, I'm pretty fuckin pissed. It gets pretty lonely around here sometimes.

Why did you go? What the fuck! How could you leave me here alone? I wasn't even there when you died, I WASN'T EVEN THERE! I had to see you lying there already fucking dead. Percy the traitor was there, Ron and Granger and Potter were there, but where was I? Who the fuck knows? And I wonder all the time if maybe I would have been there too that things might be different. It was my stupid idea to split up, MY STUPID FUCKING IDEA! I don't know if I will ever get over the guilt, it's my fault you're dead. I should have been there. I could have stopped it. I could have been dead too, anything is better than this fucking sorry excuse for a half life I live now. FUCK!

10/07/98

Freddikins,

Note to self: Do not write when pissed. Seriously, how depressing was that last page? Whiny bastard. Now I look like a nutter. If anyone ever finds this after I die and reads it they will think I'm mental. They would only be half right.

I've been mopey and not doing much at work, Ron's been picking up my slack and not even complaining about it. Who is this strange bloke who has taken over his scrawny body? I'm not going to complain. Sometimes I get in a mood and just don't feel like dealing with the fucktard customers that come in. You were always better at dealing with the people, I was better behind the scenes. Well Ron sucks just as bad as I do at customer service so we're going to have to hire some more people. Business is starting to pick back up since almost all of Diagon Alley is back up and running. School starts in less than 2 months so all the little school shits are coming in stocking up on things to take with them.

Our most popular product this year is the love potion. Desperate fuckers. It's not that hard to get laid is it? I've certainly had my share of ladies since you left. Most of them I don't even remember. Sometimes I go out to muggle bars just to go somewhere where people don't look at me with pity. The muggles don't know what's happened, so they treat me like any other bloke that walks in. Its kinda nice. Granger gives me evil looks when a random tart walks out of my room half naked the next morning. Oh well she can get over it, not all of us have found "TWU WUV" like she has. Oh yeah and I also banged your ex girlfriend. Oops. At least she didn't call me Fred while I was fuckin her, that would have been awkward. If it makes you feel any better we were both completely trashed and she left before I even woke up the next morning. So yeah. Oops.

Say HI to my ear for me will ya? I do miss him terribly.


	2. Chapter 2

20/07/98

Fred,

It's been a while. I forgot about this journal, to be completely honest. We've been so effing busy I barely have time to wipe my own arse. We are still being hit hard by the little school shits, so we've been interviewing people to help pick up the slack. Everyone we've interviewed so far blows.

You'll never guess who came into the shop the other day...Luna Lovegood! I forgot she existed! She is so out there but something about her being around just cheers me up. Maybe I like having people around who I know are crazier than me? Yeah that's probably it actually. She doesn't even buy anything, just comes in and looks at a few things, talks to us for a bit, then leaves. She's come in the past 3 days. There are only so many products she can look at. I'm sure she will have looked at our entire inventory by the end of the week. Oh look, here she comes now…with something in a bag….uh oh.

23/07/98

Hey,

Luna still comes every day, but she hasn't come today and we are closing in 10 minutes. Ron's not working today… maybe she only comes in to see him because she fancies him. Better not let Granger find out…she might punch those eyes right back into her head. Now Luna has taken to bringing us lunch. It's always something fucking weird and most of the time I have no idea what it is, but it's always good so I won't complain. It's probably a roasted crumply wumply whatsit face thinger. Fuck I don't know…she talks about such weird shit I get it all mixed up.

25/07/98

Ron dragged me out to a pub last night because he was moody (what else is new) and wanted someone to drink with. Harry is away doing super special Auror training bullshit so I suppose I'm his substitute until he gets back. Lucky me.

Anyway, ickle Ronnikins had far too much to drink (so did I but that's beside the point) so I tried to take him home and he punched me in the nose. Fucker. I finally got him home and Granger was there looking like someone pissed in her cereal. She fixed my nose, slapped both of us in the face, and left. Needless to say he is even more moody on top of being hungover at work today. If I was nice I would let him go home. Being nice is overrated. Luna drew a funny picture of him today and he wasn't amused. I still don't know why she visits so often but I have to admit she is really growing on me.

27/07/98

I busted up all the mirrors in the flat with my fist. Looking back I could have just used my wand and it would have saved me a trip to St. Mungos (and a lot of fussing over me by mum). I was getting tired of the mirrors reminding me that there is a piece of me missing, and I don't mean my stupid ear.

28/07/98

I wonder if I will ever be able to get to sleep without taking 5 shots of firewhisky first. I've done this every night since you left.

30/07/89

Fred,

Why aren't you here to talk sense into me? If you were here you would say, "Stop thinking about that Loony girl and go out and find yourself a normal bird." Ginny is already talking about kicking my arse if I 'fuck over her friend'. Is my reputation that bad? Remember how hacked off she got when we asked her about her boyfriends a few years ago, and now she thinks she can pry into my business. Hypocrite. Besides, Luna is just a friend, she's good for a laugh, that's all. Right?

31/07/98

Note to self: knock when you come into your own flat lest you be greeted by the site of your brother and his girlfriend bare ass naked fucking on your couch. Oh and surprisingly, Granger has nice tits. That is all.

02/08/98

Dear bro,

It's been 2 days and the happy couple still won't look me in the eye. It's quite amusing really. I think she is more embarrassed than he is (I did see a lot more of her than him, thankfully, though it was almost like seeing your sister's tits. No matter how nice they are you can't store them in your wank bank…that would be creepy).

In other news, I snogged Luna in the store room. She was helping me design the packaging for some new products and well, oops. Our new employee (some bird named Audrey) walked in and ruined the moment but I guess that's a good thing. I know my ear is up there with you, so please grab it and talk some sense into me will ya? I can't get her out of my head. Maybe I should floo Angie, she's a nice distraction….

03/08/98

Another note to self: hot shag with Angie was nice, but my mind is still in other strange places. Find new distraction and fast. The one that I need a distraction from came by today and acted like nothing had happened yesterday, but I acted like a buffoon tripping over my words and making really lame jokes. Ugh what is wrong with me?


End file.
